


Dinner for Two

by Acting4Hope



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternative Universe- Everyone's Alive, Alternative Universe- Post pacifist run, charaandfriskweek, domestic AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acting4Hope/pseuds/Acting4Hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No siblings get along. This is just a scientific fact. You can’t live with someone for longer than a year and not find a reason to fight or hate them. If you can, then you’re lying to yourself. Siblings are destined to bicker, fight, and, most importantly, challenge each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner for Two

**Author's Note:**

> (blows dust off this account) wow it has been a WHILE since I have last posted. I do apologize for that!!! School started and AP Lang got me stressed af!!! 
> 
> anyway, this is a fic for #friskandcharaweek on tumblr!! The first day's prompt was crossover, and since I couldn't think of any crossovers besides obscure broadway shows no one would understand (coughcough i almost made a the producers crossover fic but i scrapped it cuz no one would get it coughcough) I decided just making something goofy and having to do with something else would be good enough. and everyone loves Chopped Kitchen, right??? 
> 
> so enjoy!!!

No siblings get along. This is just a scientific fact. You can’t live with someone for longer than a year and _not_ find a reason to fight or hate them. If you can, then you’re lying to yourself. Siblings are destined to bicker, fight, and, most importantly, _challenge_ each other.

 

Yes, nothing quite completes a sibling relationship like a little sibling rivalry. And Chara, Frisk, and Asriel were no exception to this; though Asriel did not have as many sibling quarrels as Frisk and Chara have. Being past head-mates, they both know as much as there is to know about each other. This leads to some of the most convoluted challenges known to man; who can brush their teeth the longest without spit falling out of their mouth, who can run on one leg the longest, who can rap the most lines from “Rap God” without stumbling. Everything between Frisk and Chara was a challenge, a constant race to see who was the better sibling.

 

Toriel usually puts an end to most of their childish shenanigans, but when she was gone, all bets were _off_. This particular day was no different.

 

It had all started so wonderfully. Toriel was taking Asriel out on errands, Frisk and Chara not joining for their own personal reasons. The two were left in the care of Papyrus and Undyne; not the first choice of babysitters for most, but they would do. The afternoon was rolling by pretty dull, since Undyne and Papyrus were practically banned from every room in the house except for the living room and bathroom, and the four of them were on the couch watching reruns on Food Network.

 

Then, Chara said something that Frisk could not ignore.

 

\---

 

“Betcha I can cook better than you,” Chara stated aloud, though the statement was obviously pointed towards Frisk. Frisk bristled, glaring at Chara from the blanket they were currently cuddled in. Chara smirked and stuck their tongue out at Frisk. Frisk growled and stuck their hands out of the blanket to sign.

 

“ _No, I bet I can cook better than you_ ,” Frisk retorted, sticking their tongue out at Chara in return. Chara rolled their eyes and turned back toward the TV, which was displaying the opening sequence for “Chopped”. Undyne and Papyrus were absorbed in the show, already making personal bets with each other as to who would win.

 

“Yeah, sure you could, Frisk. Keep telling yourself that while you microwave eggs and keep a jar of peanut butter in your nightstand ‘just in case’.” Chara replied, making air quotations at the end. Frisk’s face burned with embarrassment; no one was supposed to know about the Secret Butter!

 

“ _Yeah, well at least I don’t eat ramen noodles raw_!” Frisk retorted, smirking when Chara’s face dropped and they turned away. It wasn’t Chara’s fault that ramen noodles just taste better raw!

 

“Oh _yeah_ , well at least I don’t make salads that just consist of a bowl of croutons and some italian dressing!!” Chara barked back. Frisk scrunched their face up in frustration.

 

“ _Well at least I don’t eat chocolate as a fourth meal_!”

 

“Well at least I make it an effort to eat at least one real meal! You shove a handful of pita chips into your mouth at 9 AM and call it a day!”

 

“ _Well at least I’ve never set fire to a bowl of cereal_!”

 

“WELL AT LEAST I _TRY_ TO MAKE A BOWL OF CEREAL! YOU JUST EAT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BOX LIKE THE _BARBARIAN_ YOU ARE!”

 

“Woah, woah! What the heck are ya yellin’ about, Chara?” Undyne broke up the argument, placing a hand on Chara’s shoulder. Chara looked up at her and pouted.

 

“Frisk thinks they can cook better than me, but that’s _obviously_ wrong.” Chara explained, puffing their chest out proudly. The sound of groaning could be heard until a pillow was suddenly flung at Chara’s face. Undyne turned and saw Frisk glaring at Chara.

 

“ _Chara is just a big meanie and thinks they can do everything better than me_ ,” Frisk signed. Chara took the pillow that was thrown at them and placed it behind their back, then they leaned back on it and smirked.

 

“It’s not an opinion if it’s true,” Chara stated, earning themself another pillow to the face. Undyne rolled her eyes and tossed the pillow back at Frisk.

 

“Alright, enough, you two,” Undyne said, her smile deceiving her scolding tone. Papyrus was still one-hundred percent invested in the show, but he was abruptly brought out of his Chopped-binging trance when Undyne elbowed him in the ribs. “Yo, Paps, help me out with the punks.” Papyrus sprung to life and quickly turned to look at Undyne.

 

“What?! What is wrong?” He asked, feeling a little embarrassed for being so entranced in the show. In his defense, Ted Allen is a pretty interest-catching host. Frisk flopped onto Papyrus’s legs and waved their hands in the air, their way of letting someone know they want to speak. Papyrus looked down at Frisk expectedly.

 

“ _Chara’s a butt and is telling lies_ ,” Frisk signed matter-of-factly.

 

“Hey! That’s not true, you dingus!” Chara retorted in their own defense. “All I said was that I was a better cook than them. Which is true!! _Duh_!!” Frisk made a few less-than-appropriate gestures that only Chara caught, and Chara mouthed their own bad words back at Frisk. Papyrus looked at the two children sitting beside him and tsked before rising to his feet.

 

“There is only _one_ way to determine who is the superior chef!” Papyrus declared, his hands on his hips in a heroic stance. “And that! Is with! A cook-off!!” The idea was something that neither Chara, Frisk, or Undyne could put past Papyrus to think up, and Chara was very on-board with this day.

 

“Yeah! Let’s do it!” Chara called out, standing up and pumping their fist in the air and eyes glinting with excitement. Frisk, not wanting to be stepped up by Chara, also jumped to their feet and pumped both fist in the air. Undyne stood too, feeling weird for being the only one sitting, and crossed her arms.

 

“Paps, that would be a great idea!” Undyne stated, making Papyrus grin. “ _If_ we weren’t banned from using the kitchen…” Papyrus’s grin fell and Frisk and Chara dropped their hands. The four stood around in silence until Papyrus snapped his fingers and resumed his heroic pose.

 

“Well, _we_ may be banned from using the kitchen, but _they_ are not! We can just...supervise their cooking!! Or...judge them!! Or…” Papyrus was grasping at a concept he could not articulate, and so he looked around the room for something to aid him. Suddenly, the sound of Ted Allen’s voice could be heard from the television, and Papyrus was struck with a stroke of genius. “Or we could hold our own Chopped competition!!”

 

This idea excited everyone in the room. Chara could already picture themself in the dark grey chef’s jackets, running around the Chopped kitchen and nabbing the ice cream machine before anyone else could use it. Frisk was thrilled at the opportunity to beat Chara, and was imagining winning the desert round and watching Chara step out into the hall as Frisk won the $10,000 check toward their imaginary restaurant. Undyne was just eager to see an intense cooking battle happen, and she was texting Alphys and seeing if she could bring over a camera. If this was going down, this was going to be recorded. Papyrus, meanwhile, was lost in a fantasy of being an illustrious and extremely attractive host, chopping chefs with the most grace any person has ever seen.

 

“Let’s do it!” Everyone shouted in unison. And so, the Chopped challenge began.

 

\---

 

The kitchen was transformed into a culinary stage within minutes. Every lamp in the house was positioned around the kitchen to give the room better lighting. Alphys came over with a camera and then left because she had work. Chara and Frisk were equipped with two of Toriel’s aprons; Chara’s was a professional looking gray and Frisk’s was white and covered in flowers. Papyrus had, for some reason, a suit stashed with him and had changed into it. Undyne was in charge of the camera and was eagerly waiting to start.  

 

“Alright, everyone, are we good to go?” Undyne asked. Everyone nodded back at her and her grin widened as she hoisted the camera into position. “Okay. We are a go in three...two...one!” She made a motion with her fingers like she had seen cameramen do in movies, and the “show” was a go.

 

\---

 

“Good evening everyone!” Papyrus greeted the camera in his best attempt at a suave voice. “And welcome to tonight’s special episode of Chopped Kitchen; Papyrus Edition!!”

 

“Hey! Why is the episode named after you?!” The camera suddenly panned over to Chara, standing behind the counter with their arms crossed. “You aren’t even cooking! You’re just gonna stand there and commentate!” Footsteps could be heard as Papyrus crossed behind the counter to place a hand on Chara’s shoulder.

 

“Ah, you see, my dear contestant, that is exactly _why_ the episode is named after me!” Papyrus stated matter-of-factly, sticking his pointer finger in the air for added effect. “Because the host is always the most important part of any cooking show! They are the personality to the show! The pièce de résistance!” Chara looked up at Papyrus with an annoyed expression.

 

“Do you even know what ‘pièce de résistance’ means?” Chara asked, causing Papyrus to let out a long, boisterous laugh.

 

“Why, of course not! Hosts don’t need to know the cool things they say, they just need to _say_ them and look _cool_!” Papyrus replied. Chara rolled their eyes but said no more. Papyrus walked back around to the front of the counter and made a grand gesture with both arms. “And now! The moment! You all! Have been waiting for! Let’s meet our chefs and get this show started!!”

 

The camera zoomed in on Frisk first, but Undyne accidentally zoomed in too far so the shot was just of Frisk’s face. Unfortunately, Undyne could not see how the shot really looked because she was looking through the camera with her eyepatched eye.

 

“Our first chef is a resident of the Toriel household!” Papyrus introduced, making so many gestures and signals that the camera would never catch. “They are 10 years old and have minimal experience in the kitchen! Everyone, give it up for Frisk!” There was no applause, but Frisk beamed regardless.

 

Next, the camera turned to Chara, and it’s now that Undyne realized how zoomed in the camera was, so she fixed it. This time, she panned out too far, and now the shot was of the entire kitchen instead of just Chara. Regardless of this, Papyrus crossed over to Chara and gestured to the smiling child beside him.

 

“Our other chef is also a resident of the Toriel household! They are 11 years old and, like Frisk, have minimal experience in the kitchen! In fact...I’d say Chara is even _more_ inexperienced!!” Papyrus’s introduction made Frisk giggle as Chara’s face turned red in shock and embarrassment.

 

“W-What are you talking about?!” Chara shouted, their voice cracking several times. “I’m better than Frisk!! That’s why we’re here right now, you big idiot!!” Papyrus took no offense to Chara’s insult, nor did he even seem to hear Chara. He walked away from Chara and stood inbetween both the kids, gesturing with his arms to both of them.

 

“Well, now that you know our contestants, let us……………………………………….BEGIN!” Papyrus raised his arms into the air and suddenly two black covered wicker baskets dropped onto the counter. Frisk and Chara were floored by this phenomenon, and they both looked around the kitchen frantically to see where the baskets fell from. Papyrus paid them no mind and continued. “Inside these baskets are ingredients that each chef must use to create their dishes! Unfortunately, since we have limited ingredients, we can only make one meal! So!! Make sure you two make your absolute best meals!!!” Papyrus looked to both Frisk and Chara, who were waiting patiently to begin. “Are you two ready?” Frisk nodded and Chara stuck their tongue out, determined. “Alright, chefs, open your baskets!”

 

That phrase was like a gun being fired because as soon as Papyrus said it, the two were quickly opening their baskets and taking out their ingredients. The ingredients were as follows; green tea leaves, pork chops, Vegemite, Thai chili peppers, butterscotch candies, and spicy brown mustard. These ingredients were all carefully picked, and by “picked” I mean “taken from the back of the cupboards because no one was going to remember that stuff was there anyway”. Frisk had to take a minute just to stare at the ingredients, while Chara took off to the “pantry”, more commonly known as the fridge and cupboards, and grabbed several more ingredients. They took flour, green bell peppers, a can of mini corn-on-the-cobs, and a variety of spices. By the time they had ran back to their place, Frisk was taking off to the pantry to grab their own ingredients. Frisk took back panko bread crumbs, eggs, milk, mushrooms, onions, and a bottle of minced garlic.

 

With the two at their stations, tension had quickly filled the air, as well as silence. Lots and lots of silence. Papyrus had not really thought this portion of the show through; he did not think about how the chefs are pre-recorded with interviews before they are spliced in the middle of the episodes. He was just sort of standing awkwardly off-screen while Undyne quickly made her way around the kitchen, taking a variety of different-angled shots of the two cooking.

 

Frisk had taken out a huge bowl and was dumping some of the spicy brown mustard into it. Along with that, they put in a dollup of Vegemite, a lot of minced garlic, and began to rapidly mix the ingredients together. Upon noticing that the ingredients were all too thick, however, Frisk dashed back to the pantry and grabbed soy sauce and worcestershire sauce. They put a decent amount of both sauces into the bowl and continued to stir, satisfied with the consistency it had become. Once everything was mixed, Frisk took their pork chops and placed them in the bowl, getting their hands dirty as they tossed the pork chops in their secret marinade.

 

Chara had taken a different route and was currently letting some chopped up Thai chilis and green bell peppers sweat on a pan. They were cutting the pork chops up into chunks, their hand working expertly with the knife they held. In another pan, they had water, Vegemite, and the butterscotch candies coming to a boil. With the green tea leaves, Chara ground them up in their hands and sprinkled them all over the pork chops, along with red pepper flakes, salt, paprika, cumin, and garlic powder. They added a little squirt of spicy brown mustard, just to make sure the ingredient was used, and used their hands to mix everything together.

 

Papyrus finally made his way over to Frisk and Chara. He stood by Frisk’s station, watching as they quickly chopped up the mushrooms and onions and tossing them into a pan. The pan was far too hot, though, and Frisk had nothing to grease the pan, so everything stuck to the pan. Frisk noticed their mistake and quickly struggled to get the food off the pan. It was all burned, but Frisk just let it be and turned down the heat.

 

“So, Frisk, what is your plan for tonight’s glorious meal? Are you going for an Asian-style route?? Or perhaps a Spanish dish?? Hmmm???” Papyrus inquired Frisk. Frisk looked up at Papyrus, then to the camera, then back to Papyrus, then back to the camera. Then, they shrugged and continued to make their meal. Papyrus did not skip a beat and made his way over to Chara’s station, who was currently battling an unopened bag of flour.

 

“So, Chara, what are you doing with the basket-” Papyrus was interrupted by a huge cloud of flour that poofed from the ripped-open bag. The entire kitchen was covered in a light film of flour now, and when the dust settled, Chara was frozen with their hands still on the ends of the bag and their entire upper half covered in flour. Chara looked directly into the camera, eyes showing no emotion but pure bewilderment.

 

Papyrus decided it would be best to step away.

 

The show had to go on, and after Chara wiped the flour off of most of the counter and face, they continued with their meal. They added their pork chop chunks to the pan with the peppers, then they added the strained can of mini-corn-on-the-cobs. The butterscotch-Vegemite mixture had come to a boil, but had somehow turned into a black, thick mess. Chara was not one to judge appearances, and stuck a spoon in the sauce to taste it.

 

The taste was...indescribable.

 

Oh, who am I kidding, it was godawful.

 

Chara gagged on it as soon as it touched their tongue, and they resisted the urge to vomit. Still, they had used all the butterscotch candies on this sauce, so they had to use _some_ of it. They take a quarter-cup of the sauce and drizzled it in the other pan. Well, they attempted to drizzle it, but it all just plopped into the pan with a gross squish. The smell coming from the pan was now unbearable, and Chara had to plug their nose in order to stir it all. They still needed to persevere, unless they wanted Frisk to win. So, they ran back to the pantry and grabbed some more ingredients to balance out the disgusting mess that was gurgling in the pan.

 

Frisk was taking their pork chops out of the marinade, cutting them into thin strips. Once they were cut, they began to prepare a dredging station. Milk and eggs were in one bowl, while the panko bread crumbs were in another. Frisk had already begun letting a pot of oil come to a boil, and it was now ready for frying. Frisk dredged each of the pork chops in the panko and then dropped them in the oil. Unfortunately, the oil was a little _too_ ready for frying, and a small fire erupted from the oil. Papyrus sprung into action, dumping baking soda on the pot until the small fire was extinguished.

 

“Uhhhh, how about we... _don’t_ use frying today? Or ever?” Papyrus suggested nervously, checking Frisk for any burns. Frisk was fine, albeit a little disappointed, and the show continued.

 

With Frisk’s idea scrapped, they shrugged and just added their pork strips to their burnt mushrooms and onions. They then started working with the butterscotch candies, placing them in a bowl and microwaving them until a smooth consistency. Chara side eyed Frisk doing this and silently kicked themself for not using the microwave to melt the candies. The candies melted, and Frisk added a lot of Thai chilis to the candy mixture. They took that sauce and set it aside, walking back to the pantry to grab a box of instant rice. Because, when in doubt, just put it over rice.

 

Papyrus checked his watch and gasped. “Chefs! You have ten minutes until you must stop cooking!” This kicked the kids into high gear. Chara scrambled around their station, adding just about everything except the kitchen sink to their meal. Frisk, meanwhile, waited for their rice to be done. It was done in five minutes, and it’s then that Frisk realized they forgot about the green tea leaves. They sprinkled some leaves in the rice, along with cilantro, butter, and lemon juice. They dared not to taste it and chose to start plating, instead.

  


Chara, seeing Frisk begin to plate, suddenly decided their meal was done. The only issue is, Chara had nothing to serve this slop on, and they certainly were not going to use _rice_. Frisk just used rice! So, as a quick alternative to rice, they simply grabbed a baguette and cut it in half both long and short ways to create a sandwich. They placed the sandwich nicely on the plate without any care as to the remaining pan of slop they left on the stovetop. Which was starting to burn and emit black smoke. Very very quickly.

 

As that was happening, Frisk was plating their dish. They had their seasoned rice in the bowl, then their burnt-vegetables and meat mixture, and then they drizzled some butterscotch-chili sauce on top. Satisfied with their plate, they turned away from their station and waited for time to be up. But, the cloud of smoke was beginning to fill the room, and soon enough Frisk was blinded. They coughed profusely as they ran to find a window. In their journey to find a window, they bumped into every possible surface, knocked over any remaining dishes, and almost caught their sweater on fire on the open stovetop flame. Finally, they found the window, but not before the fire alarm could beat them to the punch.

 

“Two minutes, chefs!” Papyrus announced, not at all aware of the absolute mess occurring in front of him. Undyne noticed, but she was just thinking about how cool this would all look on camera to do anything about it. Chara, now aware of the situation because of the fire alarm, squealed and grabbed the pan. The pan was far too hot to grab, though, and it burned Chara’s hand.

 

“Papyrus, grab the pan and put it out!!” Chara yelled, coughing as they did. Papyrus did as he was told and chucked the pan outside. It burned the grass underneath it, but once Papyrus hosed it off it was fine. The smoke billowed out the door and into the evening sky. And, within a few minutes, all the smoke was cleared from the room. The smells and messes, however, remained.

 

And, the mess would be what Toriel would see when she flung open the door, eyes wide with fear because she had seen the smoke coming from down the block.

 

\---

 

Toriel stood in the doorway, unable to anything but stare at the catastrophe that lay before her. Flour was everywhere, globs of food and broken glass were all across the floor. There was one pot completely covered in baking soda, and Frisk and Chara looked disheveled and filthy, each holding a plate of mystery food.

 

“What in sweet heavens happened here?!” Toriel asked. Undyne turned around and looked at her, the camera zooming in on Toriel’s face. “And _why_ does Undyne have a camera!?”

 

Frisk was slowly descending to the floor to hide from their mother, and Chara followed their lead. For once, the two could agree on something; being stared down by Toriel was one of the worst things to experience.

 

Good thing for Chara and Frisk that Papyrus was here because he was quickly able to placate the situation. Well, as best as he could; Toriel was still furious for the destruction of her kitchen and the fact that there was a chance her children could be harmed. But, she was not mad at Chara and Frisk, just very disappointed. She let the children know how she felt before hugging them both. Chara showed her their burned hand and Toriel healed it within seconds before kissing it better. Asriel was hanging back during all of this; a little happy that he wasn’t here to deal with this, but also a little mad that they had so much fun without him.

 

In the end, the food was taste-tested by Toriel, who tried her very hardest not to gag for either meal, and told Chara and Frisk that it was a tie. The two were utterly shocked by this, but they just took it as a note to come back to this challenge much much later, once they’ve had a few years of experience in the kitchen on their belt.

 

The mess was left for Undyne and Papyrus to clean, since she primarily put the blame on them for letting this happen, and took the children out to dinner. When they got back, Chara and Frisk were immediately grounded and sent to their rooms.  

  
  
But not before they got to watch their episode of Chopped Kitchen, which would be seen by every monster on the UnderNet within the first two hours it was posted.

 

So, yes, siblings are made to quarrel. But, siblings are also made to make mistakes together and learn from them.


End file.
